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schwalby

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[09 Feb 2006|03:24am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

lol: My conscience is so dead
nwp: What I want to do is work in a maternity ward
itsasecret: Then when a baby is born
zomg: smash it against the ground
keke: TouCHdOWN!

Trip like I do

almost 9 months now. [29 Dec 2005|03:04am]
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Trip like I do

[12 Dec 2005|03:23am]
[ mood | depressed ]

wow so its been quite a while since ive posted on here...im really bored and cant sleep even tho i have work in 5 hours :<

sooooooooo a huge fucking deal of shit has happened...lets see...katrina came in and flooded my shit....so my house will be bulldozed sometime soon. you can see pictures here ( http://ninjaswithpuppies.nuclearfallout.net/Laura/pewp/My%20Apt/ ) not real pretty. i know live in the back room of my parents house on the floor yummy! tootie loves my air matress tho :< and to make matters worse theres going to be a christmas tree in the room soon. ask me how excited i am about that.I work in mid city now. I clean up fix/restore flooded old houses. its something i plan on doing for the rest of my life. whether its selling or renting the houses i plan on restoring oldhouses. i think thats enough for now. till next time ~

Trip like I do

[07 Jun 2005|03:27pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

So in other news. I hate my job and I am totally searching for a better one. I hope Gerald trips on the speed bumbs outside of work and busts his front two teeth out. That would be fabu. What would be even better is if they would fire Gerald too. BTW I'm not bitter at all.

I think im going to go up to Monroehell today..or tomorrow I dunno when... I have to pay my bills and then see about it..since gas is soooo fucking expensive. SO yea.. I;m done for today i guess.

Trip like I do

and then all of a sudden it hits you like a train. [29 May 2005|05:08am]
[ mood | crushed ]

So It's 5am and I've been laying in bed for 2 hours hours now. I've finally had the dreaded breakdown that I try to avoid everynight. I've realized that I'm *not* ok. I may act like I'm ok with Joe being gone...but I'm truly not. I know this will take a while. But shit, it's gonna be a long ass ride. Everyday is a constant reminder of him/our friendship/what we had. I just wish I could think of him and not be sad. I never want to forget Joe, but I can't feel like this forever. Sometimes I wonder, what would have happen if I would have talked to you that Wed. before he died. I go through all kinds of senarios... What I could have done to kept him from going riding that day. I should probrably get a hobby or something...or a better job. I just wish I could lay down and fall asleep instead of just thinking constantly, it's been a month and a half almost, yes he IS gone...he's gone. :(

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

[26 Apr 2005|03:37am]
[ mood | crushed ]

well ie just signed joes guest book i finally "musterd" up the courage to do so.


joe i miss you so much right now. all i can think about is you and the times we had. help me get through this. much <3 homie.

Trip like I do

and just like that it was all over. [25 Apr 2005|03:30am]
[ mood | guilty ]

Wow... never ever did I ever think I'd have to write about something like this in my journal. Last sunday my first love, was taken away to a far more better place for him. Joe meant sooooo much to me and yet these past few month I treated him like shit. I stopped talking to him, b/c my selfish ex was jealous. and joe told me he said: Laura, I was here b4 him and Ill be here after. Well, he's not here anymore. and im just one big fuck head.

We've been having such great weather down here, so him and a bunch of other bikers go out riding. Joe being such the competitor he was was engaging in this competition of who the better rider was. Well joe got to about 120 when this 15 mph turn comes up. The other guy slows down cuz he knew about it. While joe speeds on ahead not knowing any better. he goes down the enbankment and back up...and smacks into a tree. I pray to god he was killed instantly. He didn't deserve to die in any pain. He didn't deserve to die at all but i guess god had other plans for him.

the funeral was horrible. I cried for the most part. He didnt look like himself at all....but i dunno. his lips were the same color as his face. And i guess his head was so bruised they had to use way darker make up...but if I didnt know who joe was i wouldnt have recognized him at all. when the funeral started they played will you know my name by eric clapton. I immediatly started to ball. I cried just about the whole time. and then finally at the end when they rolled his coffin out i just broke down and i seemed to let it all out. i think that was the worst moment other than driving while being told that he died that was pretty bad.

Joseph Stanley Sauvinet 10/4/84 - 04/17/05 I will never forget you joe. I love you always.

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on his tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came his date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

(1984 - 2005)

For that dash represents all the time
That he spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved him
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars...................the house....................the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile...
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

love in my head [10 Feb 2005|04:13am]
[ mood | tired ]

Wow...I can't sleep.... I don't know why? maybe b/c this is the first night in a week that i've gone to sleep without erik. I dunno...but it is freaking me out. I can't sleep cuz he isnt next to me..freaky. or maybe im just a freak i dunno...maybe its just all <3 in my head?

Trip like I do

I <3 icees [28 Dec 2004|03:58pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Wowzers soooooooooooooooooo much has happend in teh past month and a half that i dont think there is enough webspace. I should probrably make a motion picture out of this. word.

well for starters...Erik moved down here yesterday. Works been a biatch...gawd im happy christmas is over. Snowing on christmas = <3...along with being with erik on new years = big ass <3. One bad thing is I have work at 8:30am on friday and 11am on saturday...sadface. THEN pier 1 bitches cut my hours in half. So yea...finding another job. OSM eh? I've gone through 2 tires in 2 months. Much <3 for nissan... and yea...I <3 icees

Trip like I do

isnt this lovely??? [16 Nov 2004|04:49am]
[ mood | high n <3'd ]

pure1006: because i know how you feel, and i really want you to be happy
pure1006: in case you didn't know already, i really care a lot about you, and it makes me sad if you're sad
pure1006: well, i'm gonna go to bed now. i just needed to make you feel better
pure1006: i didn't wanna go to bed knowing that you were feeling the way you were
pure1006: night laura, and don't stop smiling :-)


Boy I sure needed this. Such a lovely feeling...it's been a while!!

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

[03 Nov 2004|01:06am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares.

Trip like I do

Welcome to my life. [31 Oct 2004|11:03pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like

Welcome to my life

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

[20 Oct 2004|02:38am]
[ mood | high ]

Dear Journal,

I think entirely too much about stupid shit. Please make me stop.

Thanks,
Management.

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

[11 Oct 2004|12:43pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Of all the things i've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But i do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
Words that i'm hearin' are starting to get old,
It feels like i'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
And i say-

*goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

I still get lost in your eyes,
And it seems that i can't live a day without you,
Closing my eyes,
And you chase my thoughts away,
To a place where i am blinded by the light,

But it's not right.

*goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

Hold on to...
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,

I want what's yours and i want what's mine,
I want you,
And i'm not giving in this time.

*goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to-
Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

Oh, oh woah,
And when the stars fall i will lie awake,
You're my shooting star.

Trip like I do

Empty your bucket! [03 Oct 2004|10:43am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Well ladies and gents last night was fun. Until we got to the halfway point. bad stuff then. I didnt get home till like 3ish and I was planning on not going to sleep and just hitting up my soccer game at 8am. BUT I decided to take like a 2 hour power nap. I guess it worked cuz I got the buckey MVP award after todays game hellz yea although I feel bad cuz I really didn't do much other than have a shutout...Alyssa and Ariel and Monica all deserved the bucket. But whatev.

I flex from 12-5...I hope I don't go in...I wanna sleep yo. I'm going to the quarter with Casey's family tonight which is gonna rock...b/c her brother is awesomely...awesome? But yea he rocks...So yea rock on rocket.

Trip like I do

[22 Sep 2004|07:12pm]
[ mood | content ]

Look at this cuteness


Im off today and tomorrow. I wanna bowl. I wanna bowl....

3 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

[22 Sep 2004|02:29am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

So tonight I started bowling with my parents. It's like wow. All my life or atleast most of my childhood was spent in a bowling lanes either watching my parents bowl or I was in a kiddie league. Now I'm bowling with the big dogs. w00t hollaaa.

I bowled a 205 my third game..which is allll that maattterrrsss.

I was late for work this morning. I fell asleep watchin living single at like 5ish and my alarm was set for 6:15...totally didn't wake up till 7:20. We started putting out our christmas shit on sunday. WOW can someone email the distribution center and tell them thanksgiving isn't even here yet? Thank you.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO yesssss the real world guys....could they be any hotter?! Someone needs to email MTV and get them to come to my house lol. Wow.

2 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

you guyssss want sum cookies!?! [20 Sep 2004|04:18am]
[ mood | high ]

soooo yea (hehe bart)I worked the christmas blitz tonight...then i went and got blitzed at brittany's house lol. I had a soccer game this morning..we won 2-0 baby!

On a different note. This song brings back so many memories. Change can suck my ass.

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

[14 Sep 2004|01:20am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It's amazing how someone you spent so much time getting to know can just turn into a stranger?

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

whooaaa amber is the color of your energy [13 Sep 2004|04:20am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

wow so today I had my first soccer game in about a year and a half. At first I was kinda rusty but after the first 2 goals I settled down and kicked major hiney. We won so yea 1-0 I'm pretty confident in my team. We r teh rock0rz.

Today was soooo long; For some strange reason I woke up at 6:30...my game was only for 8 so I dunno... I had was at work from 2 till about 8:30 after work I went straight to Applebee's, then I went home.. I'm so tired. I wish my thumbnail would fall off already.

1 Tripped like I do| Trip like I do

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